Finding Purpose in My Role

Finding your purpose in anything can be a struggle and defining your purpose in your role as an entrepreneur wife can be downright difficult. For a long time, I watched my husband get dressed and ready for work every day and leave me behind at home. Fighting back tears, I’d stare down at my toddlers clinging around my legs and wonder where my purpose was in all of this. How did I fit into this entrepreneurial life?

As much as I love being a mom—and I really, really do—I am also a driven woman with an education and dreams of my own. I have gifts and talents that stretch beyond motherhood and I believe God created and purposed me in this way. After a lot of prayer, reading, time and tear-filled conversations with my husband, I came to see my role in our life and business as full of purpose too.

Finding purpose and identifying your role

We did things a little backwards when it came to my role in our company. From the time my children were a few months old until they were in school, I worked part time. Once they were in school full time, we decided it was best for our family (and therefore our company) for me to stay home for a season.

This decision was the result of asking the most common, human question, especially from toddlers, Why?

What is the Why of your life?

Knowing your why, what in your life needs to change?

How do you create steps to live your life with purpose?

I love these questions because they aren’t about whether you work or stay at home, whether you have a lot or a little or whether you are married or have kids. These questions focus on who you are at your core.

What is the Why of your life?

My Why does not come down to the success of the business, although trust me, it can feel like it is sometimes. If you were part of the start-up of a business, think about your Why? Why did you start or take over this business? Why is this the path for your life and family and not another? Was it to help people, to provide a better alternative or solve a problem that will help people in the marketplace? What is your why? Is it to raise children who will be positive world changers? That why, is your purpose. Our purpose is important since it affects our decisions big and small.  For me the why of my life is my faith in God. It’s that simple. It’s not something that changes with how rich or poor, healthy or sick I am, or the kids are. My love for God and for people is my why, and behind my longing to help other women thrive.

Once you discover your why, you will find that the role you play and the tasks you set out to accomplish, will be full of purpose.

What in your life needs to change once you recognize the Why?

If you’re wondering if your role is important, take time to get away from your everyday schedule and talk with your spouse about it. I can almost guarantee that they will affirm just how important you are to the success of your collective life and business. When we had this discussion, my husband told me, “I would never be able to do what I do without you.” Over the years I’ve learned we’re a team with a shared purpose, though our roles and how we live are very different.

My Why is loving God and loving people. In this season, my most important roles are that of a wife, mom, CEO and CFO of our home. I can show my love for God and my family in how I manage our home, schedules and finances. I believe that to whom much is given, much is expected. And it is my privilege make sure that we are doing this well in our home.

Knowing that as a family we are a team, and that loving God and loving people is my why, it allowed me to then place all the decisions I make with my time through this filter of purpose. One of the areas that popped up for me when I asked myself this question was around shopping. Let me tell you, I love fashion and I love even more getting that fashion at a good price. These things in and of themselves are not wrong, but when I got honest with myself and filtered it through the perspective of Why, I wondered if spending my time shopping everyday was helping me to live out my purpose of loving God and people? I knew without hesitation; the answer was a strong no. I found that I used shopping as an activity for fulfillment and that time wasn’t directed by my purpose. I wasn’t thinking fully about what was best for my family and when I asked myself that question, I knew it didn’t fit with my personal mission, our goals financially as a family, nor did it help build my relationship with God or other people. So, what did I do? 

Creating steps to live your life with purpose

How do I live a life of purpose in my role as an entrepreneur wife? Here are some of the action steps I have set as priorities to fulfil my purpose.

I looked at my days and did an honest analysis. What activities fit with my why, my purpose to love God and people, and what didn’t? Then I took that list and narrowed it down, to find out what things were my best yes. Remember that shopping addiction?  It was clearly on the chopping block. So, I stopped all shopping aside from groceries for a couple of months. I also sorted my sale emails from every store to go directly into a separate folder. Once I took the time I was wasting shopping, it then freed up time to spend on the things that were in line with my why and my purpose.

We had recently moved to a new city, so I started putting myself out there and asking other women for coffee or a walk. I joined a women’s bible study and ended up hosting it as well. My husband and I started leading another group through our church every other week and hosted that too. We also made our kids choose two activities per season to be involved with. I knew that with the business and the travel schedule that was sometimes required, and not having any family close by to help, two activities was what was doable for me. My activities started lining up with my why and the peace and joy that came as a result of knowing my purpose and living it out was beyond fulfilling. Knowing my purpose changed a lot of my priorities for the better. For more details on how, see my post on morning routine; it talks more in detail of how I schedule my days and weeks.

Once you have established your life’s purpose and goal for your current season, I encourage you to ask those hard questions, and ask your spouse too if you’re brave enough. I believe that we are all called to a life of purposeful living, and when we are doing this, we together begin making a positive impact on the world around us – which is what we all really want at the end of the day right?